We give the honor and glory to the "ONE" that ordained marriage. In our marriage vows the words were :
Wilt thou have this woman to be thy wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honor her and keep her, in sickness and in health: and forsaking all others , keep thee only unto her as long as ye both shall live? Then, of course the wife promises to love, honor, obey etc. Marriage is 100% on both sides. I have always heard 50-50 but which 50 was always my question!
Here are a few things we found important in our marriaage.
First of all, seek God's will for the "right" companion. Remember - it is for life!
Keep yourselves pure!
We did not have instructions on dating and marriage - but I can tell you The Blessed Holy Spirit will lead you and show you (just like He did us) that there are certain things you do not do before marriage. The only advise I remember getting was from a pastor's wife. She said: Even though you trust each other, you cannot trust the devil. I have forever been thankful for that little tidbit of advise. It kept us both where we should be with each other and with the Lord.
Then, after marriage set up a family altar. Marriage does take three. The Lord and the couple that gets married. Prayer is so essential to a marriage. How many times over the past fifty years have we had to call on Him? He was always there to help.
Then the woman should know her place in marriage. Ephesians 5:21-24 "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything."
Yes, the husband is the head of the home. He is the King of the castle so to speak. But I'm his queen! (I'm sure he will like being called a king.) Well, King Silas and I worked together. We usually discussed major issues together- but he made the final decision. Sometimes it was not what I would have chosen, but most of the time he was right. I did not have the wisdom to see what he may have seen.
His decision when we got married was that he was to go out and make the living and I would be the keeper of the home. Had things ever gotten bad, then he would re-consider. But through the years I have never had to work outside the home. It was because Silas was willing to work two jobs. Did we have everything we wanted? No! But we have always had everything we needed.
Don't put a whole lot on material things.
We never put a whole lot on material things. We were married quite a few years before we had a matching dining room set, bedroom set or living room set. Would you believe we got our first new sofa in the year 2000? We were just as happy as the rich family in the city. One day, years ago - I made the remark that I would like a little Acadian Home in the country on a couple acres of ground. My oldest daughter, Rhonda, said "Go ahead and get it Mom and then lay awake nights wondering how you are going to pay for it." Can I tell you that the Lord worked it out for us (later)to be in the country on an acre of land with what we call a nice home and the best part is, we are debt free. The Lord does give us our wants sometimes. (Seems I'm straying from what I was writing about which I am very good at.)
Another thing we learned is: Don't use credit cards unless it is absolutely necessary. We found out early on that if we could not pay for it - we did not get it You don't need everything you see just to keep up with whoever.
Then- keep the line of communication open. Talk about whatever may be the problem. Sure, we all have problems that arise in a marriage, but pouting and giving the silent treatment is not the answer. Another thing is: Don't air your problems in front of your children. Our children have never seen their Dad lay a hand on me. We have never had a fight. Sure, we disagreed on a lot of things. But it never led to a hollering match or fight. When our children say their parents never had a fight - it's hard for most people to believe. We give God the credit for this. Someone was visiting my husband awhile back and I don't know what brought about the remark. But whatever they were talking about - he looked at me and said "I guess you will be sleeping on the sofa tonight." Teasingly Silas said he was not leaving his bed. I looked at his friend and said "I have never slept on the sofa and don't plan to." Of course it was all in fun!
I guess I could add a lot more to this but it is almost time for me to start lunch. I will write tomorrow about how Our 50th celebration came out.